


I Wish It Was Me

by Maraudererasmut



Series: Wolfstar Shorts [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gryffindor, Gryffindor Common Room, M/M, Marauders, Marauders' Era, Moony - Freeform, Moony Wormtail Padfoot and Prongs, Other, Padfoot - Freeform, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Prongs - Freeform, Smut, Wormtail - Freeform, self-gratification, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-12
Updated: 2018-09-12
Packaged: 2019-07-11 12:27:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15972314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maraudererasmut/pseuds/Maraudererasmut
Summary: Remus is struggling with his feelings for Sirius, especially since he knows that Sirius would never love him back. Sirius brags about his exploits to the boys, causing Remus to get frustrated with his friends and his situation.





	I Wish It Was Me

**Author's Note:**

> This is my second ever smut piece! I'm still quite new to this, so constructive criticism is definitely encouraged and appreciated!
> 
> I am anticipating this tale to continue as a series of short stories, following the boys through their Sixth and Seventh years at Hogwarts.

Sirius Black confidently strode into the common room with a typical shiteating grin on his face. Sweeping long dark hair out of his eyes, he gave a little nod to James and flopped down on the couch next to Remus.

"Another conquest, I see?" James grinned. Sirius had been known to cockily present himself to the marauders after an evening of debauchery.

"Oh, a brunette! Not your usual type!" Peter chimed in, pulling a stay hair from the back of Sirius' sweater, grinning playfully at James.

"Yeah, she's that girl in..." Sirius began.

"Spare us the details," Remus said sharply, keeping his focus on the book in his hands.

A brief silence fell over the boys in their corner of the Griffindor common room. Remus usually kept silent during their tales of exploits, and it was rare for him to snap at Sirius with that sharp a tone.

"What's up with you today, Moony?" Sirius asked. His voice was a bit kinder than usual, almost showing concern behind his typical snarkiness.

"Nothing," Remus quickly responded. "Just tired from the moon, I guess." A pause fell over the boys before Lupin's book snapped shut.

"You know, I'm actually kind of wiped. Think I'm gonna head up to bed. See you in the morning."

With that, Remus got up from his spot on the sofa and made his way up the winding stairs of Griffindor tower. James and Sirius exchanged a look.

"Think I should go check on him?" Sirius asked.

"He probably just needs rest. Leave him be for a bit," James answered. He momentarily gazed in the direction that Remus had disappeared in before changing the subject. "So Pads! What's she like?"

Sirius barked a laugh before swinging his feet into the vacant spot left on the sofa by Remus.

"So remember that Slytherin girl we overheard in the hallway the other day...?"

~~~

Remus reached the dorm room and tossed his book roughly onto his nightstand before collapsing into his four poster bed. He swore quietly into his pillow, throwing a rough punch at the mattress. The boy kicked off his shoes and left them where they landed. The clean, organized space around his bed seemed off with the scattered dress shoes, but he was far too frustrated to deal with them. Adjusting himself in the bed, Remus laid down on his back and stared up at the canopy above him.

He used to be able to handle days like this. Sirius going off and snogging girls at night was nothing new to the group. Recently, however, it was becoming more and more difficult for Remus to stay silent. Everytime Sirius spoke of his escapades, Remus' stomach would tighten and a knot would rise in his throat. He hated the way that Sirius talked about the women that he slept with. Every time that Sirius talked about her breasts or her hips or the ways that he wanted her, Remus' heart broke a little bit. Remus Lupin knew that he would never be what Sirius Black wanted, but it was getting increasingly difficult to keep those feelings hidden inside.

Remus closed his eyes and imagined what it would feel like to have Sirius see him in that way. Imagining what it would feel like for Sirius to touch him or kiss him. He shook his head, straw coloured hair flying around, trying to clear those thoughts from his mind. He felt disgusted in himself. Sirius wasn't interested in men, and having thoughts like that were a betrayal of their friendship.

"What's up with you today, Moony?" rang through Remus' ears. The slight concern in Sirius' voice, the way he emphasized Moony. Remus' heart skipped a beat as he pictured Sirius' slate eyes shining at him, mischief and kindness radiating through them. He always loved Sirius' eyes. And the long, dark hair that carelessly got swept back. And the way that his shirt lifted ever so slightly when he stretched, showing a small bit of pale abdomen flecked with dark hair. Remus closed his eyes and pictured Sirius' tattoos on his back and chest, well hidden beneath his dress shirt. He saw the cocky smile that Sirius flashed every time he got into trouble. Remus' heart was racing and his breathing quickened. Feeling slightly embarrassed but eager to explore these thoughts further, Remus pulled the curtains of his bed closed.

Lupin unbuckled his belt and unzipped his pants, putting a tentative hand down beneath his boxers. He had never touched himself while picturing Sirius before, and the idea of it excited and scared him. Remus gently ran his fingers across his balls, teasing them lightly, and imagined Sirius' long, elegant fingers there. He was surprised to note that the very thought of Sirius touching him was enough to get him hard.

Fingers ran softly up and down the length of his cock, teasing the underside with barely perceptible touches. Remus' back arched and he let out a sigh as he grazed the head, gently caressing along the part where it met the shaft. He let out an audible "mmmm" as he imagined Sirius' hand close around his dick and start stroking it slowly and carefully. Precum leaked from the tip, and a thumb began to spread it around the head, feeling like a wet tongue delicately lapping at it.

Sirius' mouth was there, kissing, licking, sucking. Putting his lips around the tip, then further and deeper until only the base was visible. Looking up at Remus through a curtain of shaggy black hair were those silver-blue eyes, spelling mischief and adoration as he stroked the cock with his tongue.

"Ahh..." Remus gasped as a hand began cupping his balls and rubbing them gently, the other simultaneously working the shaft. Sirius' slim, deft fingers hitting precisely where they needed to, massaging their way lower until they reached the little knot in the back. Gently, the finger began pressing inwards, and Remus' hips began to thrust in time with the strokes along his cock. Strokes that were getting faster and more vigorous.

Just as Remus thought he could take no more teasing and needed a release, voices were heard coming up the stairs.

"Shit," Remus swore under his breath, but the stroking felt so good that he didn't want to stop. He couldn't stop. He was so close and he needed it now, more than ever. He needed Sirius to finish him so that he could rid himself of that train of thought.

"Wait outside, Prongs. I'm gonna make sure Moon's okay," a voice mumbled behind the closed door.

The door swung open, Remus' heart racing as he realized that he could get caught masturbating at any moment. He continued stroking, but brought a hand up to his mouth, covering tightly to avoid making a sound.

"Hey Moons, you awake?"

That voice. Softer, more delicate than ever before. Remus could hear concern in the voice and it almost made his stroking more exciting. Hearing Sirius' voice was more than enough to drive him over the edge. If only he could keep quiet.

"Must be asleep. Well... I'm sorry... If I upset you or anything, Moony. You seemed kinda pissed and I..."

Sirius let out a sigh and sat down on the floor beside the bed, back against the mattress, ruffling the curtains on his way down.

Remus kept going, hoping to finish before anyone noticed. He couldn't stop. He was too close. He kept his movements small and quiet, rubbing the head of his dick while trying to muffle the sound of his heavy breathing.

"Remus... I just..." Another sigh. It seemed like Sirius needed to say something but wasn't able to find the words to express it.

"I'm always here for you, you idiot. If you need to talk. Or anything. I'm always here."

The "you idiot" is what struck Remus the most. It wasn't said as an insult the way Sirius normally said it. There was a sound of love and affection to the way he said those words. "You idiot".

Remus heard Sirius get up and head towards the door.

"Moon's asleep, we better not bother him..."

The words sang in Remus' ears as the door closed and the boys descended the stairs.

"You idiot". So soft, so kind. There was something there that Lupin had never heard before. Eyes closed, he pretended that Sirius really did have feelings for him and was using those words to try to express it. "You idiot. Why don't you see that I love you? Why don't you tell me you love me?"

And with the thought of Sirius loving him and the idea of Sirius needing him, Remus sped up. Faster. Quicker. Sirius needing him. Even faster. Sirius having feelings for him. Sirius' mouth. His eyes. His hair. His chest. His body.

"Uuuh," Remus moaned into his hand as he came into the other. A few more strokes, dreaming of Sirius and he was finished. Done with that crazy fantasy.

As his heart rate began to return to normal, so did his mind. Sirius would never be interested in him. He was clearly straight, with all the women he always slept with. Despite that, Remus had found a new way to relieve himself whenever he began to long for Sirius and feel that resentment and hatred towards those women.

With a swish of his wand, Remus cleaned up his bed. He tossed his clothes out the curtains and left them in a messy pile on the floor. He didn't have the courage to leave the safety of his four poster after what he had just done. He'd clean the dirty laundry in the morning. Lupin tucked himself in and tried to drift off to sleep, "You idiot" still resounding in his head.


End file.
